How can we create harmony in our lives and our relationships? How do we respect the boundaries of others while maintaining our own? Whether you are starting a new relationship or new-creating an old one, remember you don’t control the outcome. You control your state throughout the process.
Hold the space instead of forcing someone to fit into it. You might be surprised by who shows up. When we approach all new experiences with openness, we can be pleasantly surprised by what we artfully create. Relationships are co-creative processes. There are moments when you come forward into a space, and other times when you pull back to create space for someone else. Try to stay engaged, flexible, and honest with yourself about how you feel. This will help you to be more willing to accept the greatest potential for your relationships. Sometimes we don’t see the gifts of other people because we expect them to be a certain way. We all have some scripts about how “certain people” are “supposed to behave.” Mothers should behave like this, best friends should never do that, boyfriends should, I should……
It is more important to pay attention to how certain things feel for you. We don’t all experience being loved through the same channels. Some people feel loved when a partner is willing to fight with them. Some experience having lots of space as a kind of loving trust while others may feel abandoned. Take care to learn these things about yourself and in others.
When do you feel most loved? How do you know when you are loving yourself? Unconditional love Is unpolarized, but we experience polarity to create the opportunity for choice. Try to notice times when you are feelings demanding and recreate your stance to one of inquisitive respect. Make your decisions from a place of understanding instead of reactivity. The cardinal rule for co-creating harmony? Be yourself and allow others do the same. This may mean that some relationships will end and new ones can take their place (sometimes with the same people ;))
Love Thyself, and Forgive Forgive Forgive.